SATURDAY SATIRE FROM ANDY BOROWITZ @ THE NEW YORKER – GOV. SCOTT WALKER SHOCKED BY RESULTS OF RECENT WISCONSIN SUPREME COURT ELECTION – “Scott Walker Dismayed That Wisconsin Apparently Smarter Despite Cuts in Education”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/scott-walker-dismayed-that-wisconsin-apparently-smarter-despite-cuts-in-education?mbid=nl_Borowitz%20040418&CNDID=48297443&spMailingID=13253019&spUserID=MjQ1NjUyMTUwNjY5S0&spJobID=1380331002&spReportId=MTM4MDMzMTAwMgS2

Scott Walker Dismayed That Wisconsin Apparently Smarter Despite Cuts in Education

MADISON (The Borowitz Report)—Scott Walker, the governor of Wisconsin, said on Wednesday that he was “dismayed and alarmed” that people in his state had somehow become smarter despite substantial cuts in education.

“Ever since I took office, I have slashed education with the goal of making the voters of this state markedly dumber and incapable of critical thinking,” he told reporters. “Instead, what I am looking at is a doomsday scenario.”

Walker said that his cuts were based on a theory known as “trickle-up stupidity,” in which students in Wisconsin’s schools would become less informed and their ignorance would eventually infect their voting-age parents.

“Clearly, what looked like a can’t-miss plan on paper has not panned out,” he said.

Although Walker said that “it’s not time yet to press the panic button,” he warned that a so-called Smart Wave could be coming in his state.

“If Wisconsin voters continue to get smarter, that will be the end of me,” he said.

*****************************************************

WARNING: THIS IS “FAKE NEWS” BUT COMES WITH MY ABSOLUTE, UNCONDITIONAL, MONEY BACK GUARANTEE THAT IT CONTAINS MORE TRUTH THAN THE AVERAGE TRUMP TWEET OR SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS NEWS BRIEFING, AND ALSO MORE FACTUAL ACCURACY THAN ANY REPORT PREPARED UNDER THE DIRECTION OF “AGENT DEVON!”

***********************************************************

Man, any time I wake up in Wisconsin, flip on the TV news, and see a whining Scott Walker, I know that something great has just happened for Wisconsin and the nation. In this case, Wisconsin voters defied Walker and had the good sense to overwhelmingly elect the best qualified candidate to the State Supreme Court by an overwhelming margin, thus depriving Walker of another “toady in robes.” Under the toxic, highly partisan leadership of the GOP, the Wisconsin Supremes have become the laughing-stock of the legal world for their pettiness and internecine squabbles generated by the current Walkerite sycophant majority. One can only hope that the next time Old Scotty whines away, he will be doing it as a private citizen removed from office by the voters.

PWS

04-07-18