SATURDAY SATIRE WITH ANDY BOROWITZ @ THE NEW YORKER — “Trump Gives Wife Beater Praise He Usually Reserves for Child Molesters and Nazis”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-gives-wife-beater-praise-he-usually-reserves-for-child-molesters-and-nazis?mbid=nl_Borowitz%20021018&CNDID=48297443&spMailingID=12907428&spUserID=MjQ1NjUyMTUwNjY5S0&spJobID=1340850260&spReportId=MTM0MDg1MDI2MAS2

“Trump Gives Wife Beater Praise He Usually Reserves for Child Molesters and Nazis

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In comments to reporters at the White House on Friday, Donald J. Trump stirred controversy by lavishing an alleged wife beater with praise that he historically has reserved for child molesters and Nazis.

Reporters who heard the President’s comments were taken aback since, in the past, the President had given no indication that he held wife beaters in the same high esteem in which he holds supporters of child abuse and white supremacy.

“We knew that President Trump considered child molesters and Nazis very fine people, but this was the first time he had put wife beaters up there, too,” Tracy Klugian, a member of the White House press corps, said. “We wanted clarification as to whether he considered wife beaters as fine as those other two groups, or finer.”

John Kelly, the White House chief of staff, accused reporters of attempting to drive a wedge between three of the President’s most cherished constituencies.

“Donald Trump has made it very clear that he can be the champion of wife beaters, child molesters, and Nazis at the same time,” Kelly said. “He doesn’t play favorites.”

  • Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,” and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.”

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WARNING: THIS IS “FAKE NEWS” BUT COMES WITH MY ABSOLUTE, UNCONDITIONAL, MONEY BACK GUARANTEE THAT IT CONTAINS MORE TRUTH THAN THE AVERAGE TRUMP TWEET OR SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS NEWS BRIEFING, AND ALSO WITH MORE FACTUAL ACCURACY THAN ANY REPORT PREPARED UNDER THE DIRECTION OF “AGENT DEVON!”

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I can can see why misogynists would be attracted to the Wh’s House, headed by a man who successfully campaigned on a platform of misogyny and disrespect for women.

Also, let the record show that I said months ago that by the time General Kelly was done “serving” the Trumpster (and thereby dis-serving our county) his reputation would be “in the gutter.” Nobody close to the “Con-Man-In-Chief” can avoid being “splattered with the slime.”

Miserable as his tenure at the DHS was, Kelly has sunk to new depths in his current position (which the “Trump leak mill” says he might not have for long).

PWS

02-10-18

 

 

OFFICE OF IMMIGRATION LITIGATION (“OIL”) AT CENTER OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT SCANDAL AT DOJ! — Serious Problems Fester At Justice!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/inspector-general-says-mishandling-of-sexual-harassment-complaints-at-justice-department-is-a-systemic-problem/2017/12/26/ed51abf6-dc35-11e7-b1a8-62589434a581_story.html

 

Sari Horwitz reports in WashPost:

“Some of the most troubling allegations, Horowitz said, have been in the Justice Department’s Civil Division. His office examined the handling of those allegations, which occurred several years ago, after receiving a complaint that the Office of Immigration Litigation had not properly disciplined an attorney who had committed sexual misconduct.

In his report, the IG wrote that a senior, supervisory attorney in the Office of Immigration Litigation, Victor Lawrence, groped the breasts and buttocks of two female trial attorneys and made sexually charged comments to them at an office happy hour. Lawrence, whose name was redacted from the report but who was identified by people familiar with the incidents, had previously received a reprimand and diminution of title for sending emails of a sexual nature to co-workers.

After the second incident with the two women, Lawrence began a scheduled detail to another division “apparently with no notice to the component of the misconduct allegations,” the inspector general wrote. After the groping allegations were investigated, Lawrence received a written reprimand for inappropriate touching, a further change in title and relief from supervisory duties.

The IG noted that Lawrence received no suspension or loss in pay or grade. The deciding official in the Civil Division said a suspension “would unnecessarily deprive the government of [his] litigating services,” according to the report.

“I was terrified I was going to get in the elevator and he would be in there,” said a woman who was involved in one of the groping incidents.” The Post does not identify victims of sexual misconduct without their agreement.

[What makes some men sexual harassers? Science tries to explain the creeps of the world]

Horowitz’s report also concluded that this case “presented potential criminal assault violations, yet we found no evidence in the case file that a referral was made to the [Inspector General] or any other law enforcement entity.”

Another senior attorney in the Office of Immigration Litigation admitted stalking a female attorney by hacking into her personal email account and conducting “a catfishing operation,” by creating a “fictitious online profile to entice her,” the inspector general found.

The attorney, Theodore Atkinson, who received a written reprimand and reduction in title, was restricted for one year from entering the building in which the attorney he had stalked worked and was moved to a different section in the Civil Division. But he received no suspension or loss in pay or grade.

The IG said this case also “raises potential criminal concerns, yet we found no evidence that a referral was made to [the Inspector General] or any other law enforcement entity,” the report said. Atkinson’s name was redacted from the report, but he was also identified by people familiar with the matter.

Atkinson was recently given a “Special Commendation Award from the Civil Division.”

Neither Atkinson or Lawrence responded to requests for comment.

A third attorney, even after being counseled about inappropriate behavior toward female co-workers and interns, allegedly “peered” through high windows into the offices of two different women who had closed their doors while they were pumping breast milk, according to an IG report. The attorney caught peeping told his supervisor that it was “an honest mistake,” an explanation the supervisor accepted, the IG report said. The matter was not fully investigated, the inspector general found, and the attorney was verbally counseled. He is still working in the Office of Immigration Litigation. His alleged behavior became such an issue that some women at the Justice Department have taped wrapping paper over the windows outside their offices.

All three Civil Division attorneys received performance awards after their misconduct, the report said.

“I’m shocked and really disappointed,” said a female attorney with knowledge of the incidents who spoke on the condition of anonymity because she was not authorized to speak to a reporter. “They got free passes. They got awards. They got to continue with their careers. It sounds like nothing is going to be done.”

Justice spokesman Prior said the department “does not discuss specific employee disciplinary actions or comment on personnel actions or matters that may impact personal privacy.”

“That said, the department was very disappointed with the issues that occurred in the previous administration and strives for a workplace free of harassment and other misconduct for all of our 115,000 employees,” he said. “That is why the Civil Division has implemented additional safeguards and systems to ensure that all misconduct allegations are handled appropriately going forward.”

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These problems largely predate Sessions. But, perhaps he needs to spend less time doing DHS’s job of immigration enforcement and more time straightening out the mess in his own Department.

PWS

12-28-17

COLBERT I. KING IN WASHPOST: Alabama (Predominantly African American Voters) Saved Us From The Horrors Of “Ayatollah Roy,” But “ARoy’s” Much More Dangerous Clone Still Lives @ 1600 PA!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/roy-moore-is-already-in-the-white-house/2017/12/15/5efeaf12-e11b-11e7-bbd0-9dfb2e37492a_story.html

King writes:

“God showed up and showed out last night in Alabama,” an old college friend exclaimed in a phone call on the morning after Republican Senate hopeful Roy Moore’s surprising and ignominious special-election defeat. That Moore took down with him the arrogant but hapless President Trump, his chief cheerleader and rally sponsor, delighted my caller all the more. Email and social media across the country lit up with cries of jubilation.

Whether divinely inspired or voter driven, Democrat Doug Jones’s victory Tuesday night should have been the moment for Moore to realize that his self-depiction as Christ’s chief crusader, waging a holy war against a backsliding and sinful America, was finished.

He now faces his inevitable destination: political irrelevancy, not Washington.

Alabamians cannot be thanked enough for keeping Moore at home. They, as great Americans, did all they could. The awful truth, however, is that Tuesday’s voting went only so far. It kept Moore out of the U.S. Senate. But keep that glee in check. Tuesday’s result did not rid Washington of Moore. He remains ensconced within the fence and barricades that circle 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. NW. Yes, beloved: Roy Moore is in the White House.

Moore is all there in Trump: the pomposity and overweening egotism, the predatory behavior that causes women to line up to tell their stories about sexual misconduct and abuse. In Trump, as in Moore, can be found the inability to come clean about anything, the ability to tell bald-faced lies, the harboring of racism and religious bigotry. Their capacity to pander to base instincts has no equal. Neither does their meanness.

Though Trump may have a slight edge in the vice of cruelty.

How much worse can it get when the president of the United States publicly tweets that a U.S. senator is a “lightweight” and “flunky” and slyly insinuates that she would trade her body for campaign donations?

That is the smear Trump slimed Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.) with this week.

Is that rock bottom, even for Trump? A large slice of Gillibrand’s congressional colleagues thought so, along with longtime observers of American politics.

The revulsion at Trump’s attack reached a peak, however, that I never expected to be scaled by the editorial board of a major newspaper such as USA Today.

I say this as a former Post editorial writer who worked for several years with a small but plucky stable of colleagues carefully assembled by legendary editorial page editor Meg Greenfield. We were known to turn a remarkable phrase or two from time to time.

But I have difficulty recalling anything that got quite to the heart of our disgust with a public figure as well as the members of USA Today’s editorial board did. Taking note of Trump’s implying that Gillibrand would trade sexual favors for cash, USA Today declared: “A president who would all but call Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand a whore is not fit to clean the toilets in the Barack Obama Presidential Library or to shine the shoes of George W. Bush.”

Editorial boards across the country are probably muttering, “We wish we had said that.” I know I do.

But that gets us to the centrality of the problem with Trump’s presidency: As with Moore, most of the country doesn’t like him. Not his policies or decisions, though many are just awful. But him, who he is, and for some, what he has turned out to be.

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Read King’s complete op-ed at the link.  And, don’t forget that “Ayatollah Roy Lite” is still over at what’s left of “Justice.”

PWS

12-16-17

 

 

WHEN AL FRANKEN RESIGNS . . .

Please remember that immigrationcourtside.com was one of the first, if not the first, to call for him to go!

https://wp.me/p8eeJm-1Ij

(“Tuning in” to my prior blog on Franken at this link will also give you a great opportunity to review some of the endless intellectual dishonesty of Attorney General Jeff ”Gonzo Apocalypto” Sessions!)

Franken could and should have saved himself, his victims, his party, his Congress, and the public from unnecessary, distracting melodrama and trauma by doing “the right thing” right off the bat.

When will Democrats finally stop shooting themselves in the foot by acting like Republicans when caught red-handed in inappropriate and indefensible situations? Yeah, we live in the age of Trump and the spineless, captive, immoral GOP.

But, if Dems want to offer a “better alternative,” they need to start acting like it. Neither the Franken nor the Conyers debacles are encouraging signs. But, give Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY), Sen. Kamala Harris (D-CA), and other Democratic women Senators lots of credit for getting the ball rolling in the right direction, after the so-called “men” in their party failed.

PWS

12-06-17

GONZO’S WORLD: FRANK RICH @ NY MAGGIE THINKS GONZO COULD FOLLOW JOHN MITCHELL’S FOOTSTEPS ALL THE WAY TO JAIL: “He’s an awful attorney general but he’s arguably an even worse liar.” — I Think It’s Time for Senator Al Franken (D-MN) To Step Down!

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/11/frank-rich-the-gop-cant-handle-moore-problems.html

Rich writes:

“Last month, Jeff Sessions testified that he was not aware of anyone in the Trump campaign who had been in contact with Russia. Though press accounts have appeared to prove him wrong, yesterday he told the House Judiciary Committee that he “had no recollection” of the meeting, and has “always told the truth.” Will he face consequences for changing his story?

The second most-scandal-ridden presidency in American history, Richard Nixon’s, also had an attorney general, John Mitchell, who had played a major role in his boss’s presidential campaign. He ended up in prison. Sessions seems determined to head to the same destination. He has been repeatedly caught lying to Congress about his and others’ contacts with the Russians, and his only defense has been to strike a sanctimonious tone of self-martyrdom, to repeat or enhance the original lies, and to accuse his inquisitors of rank injustice. He’s an awful attorney general but he’s arguably an even worse liar. It was especially choice to hear him testify last week that he had completely forgotten about attending a meeting with Trump where George Papadopoulos talked about his Russian connections; he just couldn’t stop himself from embroidering the lie further by adding he did remember a single aspect of it after all — a supposedly exculpatory moment when he pushed back on Papadopoulos’s suggestion of a Trump-Putin meeting. This stuff is not going to go over well with the special counsel.

The most unexpected twist in last week’s hearing, by the way, came when Sessions, for the moment at least, firmly shut down Trump’s idea of appointing a new special counsel to investigate the Clintons. What brought that on? A cynic might ask if he is already trying to butter up the jury pool in Washington.”

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Read Rich’s full column, where he also covers Ayatollah Roy, Ivanka, and Donnie Jr., at the link.

As I have noted before, as a former trial and appellate judge, I find Gonzo totally incredible by the standards applied to witnesses in immigration cases. I also find his bristling self-righteous indignation that anyone would dare call him on his obvious lack of candor to be disgusting hypocrisy, even by Gonzo standards. But, testifying incredibly, even under oath, does not necessarily amount to perjury under the law.

I have no particular desire to see Gonzo end his career in jail. But, there are plenty of reasons why he should no longer be the Attorney General of the U.S. Right wing talk radio would be a good fit for him.

Gonzo might also benefit from the good fortune to have one of his chief Senate critics/accusers Senator Al Franken (D-MN) in some pretty “deep doodo” himself. Indeed, given that the woman who raised Franken’s past sexual harassment has pictures, witnesses, and Franken himself doesn’t deny or attempt to justify the incident, why would he put her, himself, the Senate, the Democratic Party, and the country through a useless investigation? What is there to “investigate?” We know what happened; in light of it, Franken needs to do the right thing and step down. This isn’t SNL. And, the Democrats can’t afford a major sexual scandal in the Senate right now.

PWS

11-16-17