SUNDAY SATIRE FROM ANDY BOROWITZ @ THE NEW YORKER: “Nation with Crumbling Bridges and Roads Excited to Build Giant Wall”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/nation-with-crumbling-bridges-and-roads-excited-to-build-giant-wall?mbid=nl_Borowitz 031618&CNDID=48297443&spMailingID=13128103&spUserID=MjQ1NjUyMTUwNjY5S0&spJobID=1361426049&spReportId=MTM2MTQyNjA0OQS2

Nation with Crumbling Bridges and Roads Excited to Build Giant Wall

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—As America’s bridges, roads, and other infrastructure dangerously deteriorate from decades of neglect, there is a mounting sense of urgency that it is time to build a giant wall.

Across the U.S., whose rail system is a rickety antique plagued by deadly accidents, Americans are increasingly recognizing that building a wall with Mexico, and possibly another one with Canada, should be the country’s top priority.

Harland Dorrinson, the executive director of a Washington-based think tank called the Center for Responsible Immigration, believes that most Americans favor the building of border walls over extravagant pet projects like structurally sound freeway overpasses.

“The estimated cost of a border wall with Mexico is five billion dollars,” he said. “We could easily blow the same amount of money on infrastructure repairs and have nothing to show for it but functioning highways.”

Congress has dragged its feet on infrastructure spending in recent years, but Dorrinson senses growing support in Washington for building a giant border wall. “Even if for some reason we don’t get the Mexicans to pay for it, five billion is a steal,” he said.

While some think that America’s declining infrastructure is a national-security threat, Dorrinson strongly disagrees. “If immigrants somehow get over the wall, the condition of our bridges and roads will keep them from getting very far,” he said.

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WARNING: THIS IS “FAKE NEWS” BUT COMES WITH MY ABSOLUTE, UNCONDITIONAL, MONEY BACK GUARANTEE THAT IT CONTAINS MORE TRUTH THAN THE AVERAGE TRUMP TWEET OR SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS NEWS BRIEFING, AND ALSO MORE FACTUAL ACCURACY THAN ANY REPORT PREPARED UNDER THE DIRECTION OF “AGENT DEVON!”

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Yup.  It’s a sign of how far we’ve fallen as a nation that some of us are reduced to thinking that wasting money on “The Wall” as part of a “deal” to take care of Dreamers (who should get green cards “no strings attached”) is an “OK deal” because unlike some of the other GOP proposals “nothing gets broken, nobody (except the US taxpayers) gets hurt.”

PWS

05-18-18