"The Voice of the New Due Process Army" ————– Musings on Events in U.S. Immigration Court, Immigration Law, Sports, and Other Random Topics by Retired United States Immigration Judge (Arlington, Virginia) and former Chairman of the Board of Immigration Appeals Paul Wickham Schmidt. To see my complete professional bio, just click on the link below.
POLITICAL SATIRE FROM ANDY BOROWITZ @ THE NEW YORKER: “N.F.L. Adds First Amendment to List of Banned Substances”
Photograph by John Leyba / The Denver Post / Getty
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—The National Football League has expanded its list of banned substances to include the First Amendment to the United States Constitution, the league confirmed on Wednesday.
Although the N.F.L. has long banned substances such as anabolic steroids and growth hormones, the First Amendment is believed to be the only right guaranteed by the Constitution to be included on the list.
Roger Goodell, the commissioner of the National Football League, said that, by adding the First Amendment to the list of banned substances, the N.F.L was establishing a “policy of zero tolerance on tolerance.”
In order to enforce the ban, Goodell said that players would be tested periodically to determine whether they had used words, gestures, or facial expressions that are strictly prohibited under the new rule.
Speaking at the White House, Donald Trump applauded the league for banning the approximately seventeen hundred N.F.L. players from exercising freedom of speech, and expressed hope that the ban could eventually be expanded to include the other three hundred and twenty-five million Americans.
All too true! On the same day he was “outed” by a Federal Judge as a “First Amendment Scofflaw” for attempting to ban dissent on his Twitter account, Trump said that those who actually complied with the First Amendment with their protests should be removed from the country. It would be funny, if it weren’t so tragic.
Trump degrades America every day he is in office. We are truly becoming the “Banana Republic of America!”
