MADISON, WISCONSIN (The Borowitz Report)—A Wisconsin man with no marketable skills was unable to keep his job on Tuesday night, sources close to the man have confirmed.

The man, Scott Walker, had been an employee of Koch Industries since 2010 until he was unceremoniously dismissed.

“No one likes to lose his job, but, really, Scott has nothing to complain about,” one source said. “When you have no useful skills whatsoever but you manage to hang onto a job for eight years, that’s a pretty good run.”

Although Walker faces a job market that will be daunting for a man with only rudimentary literacy and scant understanding of math, a spokesperson for Wisconsin’s teachers said that they stand “ready and willing” to give him the education he so sorely needs.

“As teachers, we see it as our duty to educate all of Wisconsin’s students, even super challenging ones like Scott Walker,” the spokesperson said.