"The Voice of the New Due Process Army" ————– Musings on Events in U.S. Immigration Court, Immigration Law, Sports, and Other Random Topics by Retired United States Immigration Judge (Arlington, Virginia) and former Chairman of the Board of Immigration Appeals Paul Wickham Schmidt. To see my complete professional bio, just click on the link below.
😂 FRIDAY SATIRE FROM ANDY BOROWITZ @ THE NEW YORKER: ⚠️WARNING: THE PRICE OF A JUSTICE JUST WENT UP! — Justice Thomas Raises Prices, Cites Inflation!
Clarence Thomas Hikes Price of Supreme Court Decisions to Keep Pace with Inflation
By Andy Borowitz @ The New YorkerThomas
Andy Borowitz Political Satirist The New Yorker
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Citing “unfortunate economic realities,” Clarence Thomas is hiking the price of Supreme Court decisions to keep up with inflation.
The jurist disclosed his new rate card in a mass e-mail sent to more than a hundred super-donors.
“I have tried to keep my prices reasonable, but, as inflation proves more stubborn than predicted, I have no choice but to adjust my rates accordingly,” he wrote.
“Sadly, the days of shredding civil rights in exchange for ten private-jet flights are over,” he added.
It remains to be seen whether the billionaires who received Thomas’s e-mail will tolerate his steeper prices or whether they will explore a budget option such as Neil Gorsuch.
************************
Predictably, no public hearings were held on the Justice’s sudden rate hike, which blindsided many right wing billionaires with business before the Court! “We believed in good faith that Clarence & Ginni were bought and paid for at least until the end of the upcoming term,” complained one super donor. “I mean, if the guy demands any more private flights to fancy vacation retreats, we’ll probably have to consider buying him his own private jetliner. Perhaps, he should spend at least a little more time in his chambers in D.C. spouting originalism and obstructing justice! After all, that’s what we’re paying him for!”😨**
Unhappily, in the days of GOP mega-corruption, satire has become almost a lost art.
🇺🇸 Due Process Forever!
PWS
08-11-23
** The above paragraph is fictionalized. Any resemblance to any real person, persons, organizations, and/or situations is purely coincidental and entirely unintended.
